I can't even come up with a word that describes my loathe for politicians and especially when they record a message and call my house to tell me about what THEY deem important. I have very low blood pressure (57/88 last time I checked it at those "sit here and I'll squeeze the shit out of your arm things at Sams) and I can assure you that last night I thought my head would pop clean off my body.

Again, a little background. Around here we love food. There is a fund raiser for the YSB and it is called the Chef Soiree. Vendors from local restaurants and spirited beverage distributors donate their wares for people who buy tickets to partake in. No one really likes to buy tickets because they were $150 this year and what if you buy a ticket and it rains? G*d forbid we all just donate the damn money and get nothing out of it. I digress.

We were meeting some friends at the gate and as we were waiting I was on the phone with the wife. Kenny is standing beside me and talking to some people...and with my awesome multi-tasking skills I overhear those two people talking to my husband say blah blah blah" Steve Scalise" blah blah blah. I immediately tell my friend that we'll see her in a second and hang up the phone and ask these people who are waiting at the gates along side us "do you know Steve Scalise" (he's a politician and running for some office where he can buy hookers and steal money)? They proudly pipe up "yes" with big happy dopey smiles on their faces. Dimwitts! I politely looked at them and screamed "STOP CALLING MY HOUSE".

Silence. I then gave them my name and again asked them to "STOP CALLING MY FREAKING HOUSE". Lucky or unlucky I guess, our friends showed up before Mr. Scalise. Later in this big huge event, we run into them with Mr. Scalise in tow. They tell us"hi" with big smiles on their faces, becasue lets call a fake a fake here...they half recognize us so they have to play nice. Although they don't know where they quite know us from. Then Mr. Scalise extends his hand to us and in unison the two handlers of Mr. Scalise remember who we are and immediately introduce us and before I can yell at their candidate he responds with "yes I've heard you want to be taken off of our call list...don't worry!" *yeah right*

Jump ahead to last night. 7:40 pm. My phone rings and quess who it is? No, not Mr. Scalise (thank goodness for him!) it was another recorded message from dimwit politician Tim Burns. Holy cr*p. Another election? I might not live this one through. I can feel my head starting to spin. I immediatly call his office and tell them on their recorder to take me off their list. I actually said "if you don't take me off your list.......long pause.....well I don't know what I'll do but I'm sure it won't be good!". There that told them...or did it? I go to the site and get his email address and I fire off this email:

"Hello. Please take me off of your call list. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and I do NOT appreciate being called at 7:40 at night. In
fact, I don't appreciate you calling my house anytime and I resent the
fact that you think you have the right to call and bother my family and
me anytime YOU deem it appropriate.

I just left a ridiculous message on your voice mail because I can't
even think of something so annoying to do to someone else as what you
do with all these DUMB phone calls. Politics is crap and full of so
much bullshit that no one believes what they hear and see anyway. We
all vote for who we think has the same values as we do. What their
opponents or they themselves say when they call is unimportant. Most
of us hang up within the first 3 seconds. You should have some sort of
data tracker to find out if these phone calls work or annoy people to
the point of hoping you loose even if you are the person they would
have initially voted for.

Now, if you want to fix something...make it possible for someone to
do something about my neighbors dogs that bark all day. Now THAT would
be helpful. Calling me at the end of a day or at the beginning or the
middle of the day is just rude and obnoxious. If you continue to call
me I'll be forced to do something equally as ridiculous as you calling
my house all the time like register the domain or a variation of http://www.TimBurnsSUCKS.com.

In all seriousness, PLEASE do not call my house again. I have
bigger things going on than whatever you are going to tell me about
your politics. Seriously."

I cc my husband so he'll know why the police are taking me away in handcuffs later in the week. I walk in and he's rolling his eyes and laughing...a little. He says "I JUST met Tim Burns this week and told the story about the Chef Soiree...nobody believed me".

Small world? or Fate? You decide.

You'll know if they've come to take me away for threatening a politician if I don't post anymore. Start a fund for my children would you? I'm sure the politicians will donate some of their imbezzeled funds in my name.